The helpless
by Linneagb
Summary: Seth suddenly calls his dad up one day. His son and Sandy's grandchild Silas has been in an accident- he might not live. *Based on the lyrics of Untitled by Simple Plan*


**This fic is set in the same universe as "The liar Alyssa" and "The precious butterfly". But set in between them at time. This is based on the lyrics of untitled by Simple plan. But only based on the lyrics and not on the story behind the song. **

"Am I actually too old for work- yes."

When we had moved to Berkeley I might not had thought I would enjoy being a teacher as much as I did. When I actually retired I had never been able to stay away from work.

But only hearing those students laugh at me was perfectly enough.

"Am I going to work anyway- yes."

"We're in luck Professor Cohen." One student I always forgot the name of shouted. "You're the best teacher."

I made a move with putting a hand over my heart when students started agreeing with him and then bowed. Then just as I did I felt a buzz in my pocket.

"Did I forget to turn my phone off- yes."

I let it ring and took it up from my phone. SETH read over the screen.

"Will I call him at break- yes. He can leave a message."

Something clenched in my chest, it was like I just knew this wasn't something I couldn't ignore.

But the phone stopped buzzing when Seth put his phone down and I made a promise to myself I'd give the students a break as quickly as I…

Barely had I thought about it when the buzzing started again and the loud signal echoed through the room.

"It isn't like my son to do this unless it's something important." I pulled up my phone and again it said it was from my son. "Should I pick up- no. Am I going to anyway- yes. Hey son. Can I talk to you la…"

"Dad" Seth interrupted before I'd asked. And I felt myself frowning when I heard the worried and rushed tone in his voice. "There's been an accident. I and Summer are at the hospital but… but we could really need someone else here."

At first I was going to ask him if he couldn't call any of his sons or maybe Ryan? I didn't work that often… But hospital?

"Hospital?" I questioned. "Seth… can you?"

"Dad? You have to come here. Now! We don't…"

"Seth. Take a breath and then tell me what has happened."

"Silas was hit by a car." I felt my whole insides turn to ice. "We don't know how bad it is. They took him in for surgery but…"

I didn't want to know what was after that but.

"I'll be right there."

I hung up on the phone and turned to my students once again, hearing only a couple of words of what I had said- including hospital.

"I have to go."

I would never be able to remember or even understand how I left the school that day. Even less how I arrived at the hospital. All I knew was that the lamp in the room hurt my eyes- that I was way too blinded to drive, that my hands were shaking.

I would hardly, if I tried hard remember one of the students gave me a ride- probably the one student I had always forgotten the name of. He then skid- stopped in front of the hospital reception and without thanking him I jumped out of the car and ran through the revolving doors.

"Silas Cohen." I ran up to the reception. "I need to know where Silas Cohen is… I think he might be in surgery." The receptionist glared at me. "Please, he's my grandson and I don't know how bad it is. I just know he was hit by a car."

Not until then I heard how bad it was. That there were people who actually…

No, no, no. I couldn't think like that.

"Do you have an ID?"

With shaky hands I realized I'd left my briefcase with my wallet in the school. I felt through my pockets and felt my teacher ID and showed it up and hoped it would be enough. Apparently it was because she wrote something on her computer and looked back at me.

"He's having emergency surgery right now. Is there someone with him?"

"YES." I shouted and people all around jumped. "My son is with him but I need to get there. I NEED TO BE WITH HIM NOW."

"No need to yell professor Cohen. I'll go and find someone who can lead you right."

I stomped where I stood waiting while the reception made a call.

"Someone will be right you in just a moment."

Just a moment was really long in that moment. It felt like ages before one red haired, male nurse came through the doors to the reception.

"Mr. Cohen?" I nodded quickly. "My name is…"

"I don't care. Can you just lead me to my son? Please?"

The nurse gave a nod and walked away. Couldn't he just walk a little bit faster?

"Your grandson is in surgery- he was hit by a car and was badly hurt. He has a broken skull and there's been a lot of bleeding. The surgeon is trying all he can to relief the pressure on his brain. But we don't know much about all the damage that has been done." The nurse stopped by a door in the surgery waiting room. "We can't make any promises. They're over here."

The nurse showed me into a corner of the waiting room where Seth and Summer sat close by in each chair, their hands wrapped in each other's and none of them showing any feelings. They were both devastated- that much I knew. But it was like showing it would mean that this was already at their worst.

"Guys."

Seth looked up at me when I spoke to them. And before I knew it, I had one arm wrapped around each of them.

"So…" I pulled out one chair that let me sit right in front of them. "…What do you know?"

"I have told him…" Summer started whimpering. "…So many times to stop when he comes down that hill and cross that road… But he's never listened. And he's never been hit by a car… Until now. Now he's in surgery and his skull is smashed and both his arms are broken. So is his sternum and almost all ribs… It was like he fell in the moment the car came and it hit every part of his upper body. And if he… When he wakes up he'll need a lot of rehab. He might never be the person he's been again but…" Two big tears rolled down Summer's cheeks. "…I don't care if I have to spend every second of every day for the rest of my life taking care of him. I just want the surgeon to come out that door and tell us and tell us…"

Summer was interrupted when the door opened and we all flew up.

He didn't have to say anything. We could all see on the look on his face what was the result of the surgery.

"NO." Summer yelled. "No, no, no. You have to… you have to…"

"We had Mr. Cohen into surgery as soon as we could. But I'm afraid there was too much damage done on his brain and almost at the same moment we opened up and started the surgery the bleeding had been too much and the brain under too much pressure."

"NO." Summer yelled again and Seth, looking helplessly towards her and then towards the doctor "You have to. There's got to be something."

"There was nothing that could have been done differently neither here nor in the ambulance or any time. We did everything we could for more than thirty minutes. But he passed away."

"NO." Summer yelled louder than ever. "NO. There's got to be something…" At last she pulled out of Seth's grip and she started hitting every point she could reach on the surgeon. He tried to hold her away and I stepped forward and how I did it I did not know, but took her from behind and pulled her back. "There's got to be something…"

"Summer." My heart was breaking too but I could never imagine what it was like for Summer. "There's nothing they can do. There's nothing we can do either. It's too late."

At last Summer turned around, threw her arms around my neck and sobbed wildly into my blazer. I looked helplessly to the surgeon who had taken his cap off and stood silently waiting, I felt Seth behind me. And I knew he felt at least a hundred times more helpless.

"I'm so sorry for your loss." The surgeon said at the moment Summer loosened her grip around me, still sobbing but quietly now and still with her cheek towards my blazer as if I was the one who could give her support in all of this. "If there's anything we can do, let us know."

"Where is he?"

"Follow me." The surgeon turned, Summer let go and leaned against Seth's side when walking through the door the surgeon had come out from and instead of a trauma room a side room where there was only one bed, and on it laid the body of my grandson, in his mouth a big tube that was stuck up with bandages and several beeping machines that it led to.

"His heart and lungs are kept working with these machines. They could keep working forever, but he's…" The surgeon lost his words. "We can see no brain functions. He's basically braindead. And nothing's going to change. I suggest that if there's family or friends that needs to say goodbye they'll come here now."

"Are you sure?" Summer whimpered. "If we just waited. Just for a day, or two. Or a week." The doctor shook his head. "Oh Silas." Summer walked over and stroke his forehead. "How many times have I told you to slow down in that hill?"

"Dad…" Seth said looking as helplessly still. "Can you call mum and Sophie Rose?"

I waited for a moment, phones couldn't be turned on in this part of the hospital.

"These things don't happen." Summer whispered when Seth had walked away. "How could they happen? We've done… What have we done to deserve this? And now there's nothing we can do to get away from this." She stroke her hand over his forehead down towards the back of his head, then suddenly gasped when she reached the back of his head. "Oh my god." She looked up at me. "Can you call Kirsten and Sophie Rose? And call my dad too please? They all want to say their goodbyes? And I need to be left… alone for a while…" I nodded, it was her wishes that needed to be granted right now while I walked back the same way I'd come and pressed Kirsten's number with my shaky hand.

"Kirsten?" I said before she had started talking. "I'm at the hospital, at the surgical ward. It's Silas… and you need to come here."

It was like every single voice in my head was screaming at me while I had to make the calls for Kirsten and Sophie Rose, that they only barely gave me the chance to talk. That no one should be able to hear me.

It felt like hanging onto a thread, if I made a single move wrong, I'd fall right into a black hole where I couldn't get up. That if I stopped and didn't do what I had to with making calls or went back to the surgical ward room I wouldn't ever be able to get away from the dark.

That if I took one step wrong and slipped off the edge I wouldn't be able to keep myself together as much as I had to when I met Kirsten, Sophie Rose and Neil by the parking lot and show them right. To the room where our Silas would be taking his final breath.

And then, when I came back all the others were there. Silas' big brothers and little sisters, Ryan and his wife and their three children.

"Silas was important to many I can see." The red- haired nurse that had showed me here came into the room followed by a man and two policemen. And the man was so young, he seemed so tiny- he couldn't have turned twenty. "As you know. My name is Noah, if you need anything then just ask for me. This is Michael. And… I think I'll have to leave."

Noah left along with one of the policemen. And it was when I saw Michael's hands hand cuffed behind his back when I realized who he must be.

"You were the driver." Stella almost whispered. "You hit my brother with your car."

Michael hesitated, but we all- everyone in that room knew the answer before he nodded.

"I did. And I…" He looked around the room, and at last towards the pale, young man on the bed. "…I just wanted to say I was sorry."

"Sorry?" Summer spat. "How could you just come here and say something stupid like sorry? As if that was enough." For the first time since coming in here Summer stood up and on shaky legs walked over to him. "I hope you see him as soon as you close your eyes. I hope you can't forget this for the rest of your life… I hope you rot in hell for what you did to my son."

I had expected her to attack the young man. I had expected anyone in the room to do just that. But it was like none of us thought it was enough- I knew I didn't And looking down, not able to meet anyone's eyes the policeman grabbed his arm and led him out of the room.

And it was suddenly so quiet. The clock had gone and turned into evening, the sun was going down again. I wouldn't have minded to stay there.

"No." Kirsten stood up from a chair next to me. "He's not getting away like that."

I ran after her when she hurried out of the room and out into the hallway and straight up to Michael who now had two policemen again holding onto each of his arm.

"Kirsten…"

SMACK.

I had never heard anyone smack like that. The sound of her palm hitting his cheek echoed through the hallway walls.

SMACK

Nothing less when she lifted her other hand and did the same on the other side.

"Summer's right." She wheezed. "I hope you see this as soon as you close your eyes. I hope you rot in hell."

"I'm so sorry." The boy looked like he really was sorry and if I hadn't been so devastated my heart would have ached for him only. "I really am… But he just turned up of nowhere, I didn't get any chance to stop… God, I just got that damn license."

"This isn't about you." The wheezing tone in my voice almost scared myself. "And it isn't about a fucking license or how long you've had it. This is about a young guy, my grandson. A son, a grandson, a nephew, a cousin… We all love him so much and he's dead because of you."

Michael gave a nod, he wasn't able to look me into the eyes for a second longer.

"These things don't happen." He whimpered almost whispering. "How could it happen to me?"

"Come on." A policeman hit him from behind. "Let's go… I'm so sorry for your loss." I patted Kirsten's shoulder, I would gladly had taken the pain from her and all of the others' if it meant they wouldn't hurt.

Kirsten turned around and walked back into the room. Just as we came in Seth cleared his throat.

"Just so everyone knows, Silas is a donor." Stella leaned her head to the side and looked questioning. "It means, that since Silas's heart and kidneys and lungs and everything are fine they can be given to someone who does need them because their organs doesn't work. Cool, isn't it?"

"No." Stella crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. "I don't think he'd like that."

"Actually he would." Summer answered. "He's already signed up as one himself. And since he has we couldn't say we don't want to… And you know what Silas was like! Always kind and always wanting to help." Stella nodded and then grimaced. Summer was on the other side of the room but Ryan bent down next to Stella and hugged her tight.

"And." Summer continued with her hand still on her youngest son's forehead. "I think… I think I and Seth could need some time alone. I don't want to push you away but…"

"We understand." Taylor said when Summer couldn't find the words. "Can I…" Summer nodded and stepped away from the bed. Taylor leaned down and kissed the piece of Silas's cheek that wasn't covered in bandage. "See you some time love." She stroke his forehead and then hugged Summer, and Seth. With Allison coming after her, then William and Miles, being the third and last of hers and Ryan's children. "Do you want Ryan to stay?"

"Actually…"

"It's fine Seth." Ryan wiped the tears from Stella's cheeks with his sleeve, then did the same as his wife and children. "See you Silas. Another day."

"Maybe I'll see you some time sooner." Neil walked over and stroke his grandson's forehead. "My kid and grandkids are young still… so are you… How could this happen to you?" He sniveled- I'd never seen him cry before. But when I patted his back he turned away and hugged his daughter.

"See you bro." Sullivan pulled down the blanket and hit his fist in his youngest brother's. "Another day." He stepped away so Sawyer fist- bumped him too. And I knew for a fact Sawyer didn't believe in anything like this.

"I don't know but… I'd like to believe we'll meet again."

All of us looked to Stella, pressured her, she crossed her arms over her chest and pouted again.

"Stel…" Sullivan looked helpless. "Do you want to come with me or with grandma and grandpa?"

"I want to stay here. With mummy and daddy and Silas."

"You can't stay here right now."

"BUT I WANT TO."

She stomped her foot. Stella being almost eighteen it should be that she understood why she had to leave, but her mind with her disability… She was one of the kindest people I knew.

"Stella Marissa Cohen." Seth said, still sternly but shakily. "Go home.." Stella was on her way to say something. "I SAID GO HOME. You can go home with Sullivan, or with Saw…"

"Actually." Sawyer interrupted. "I think I'll stay with Sully's tonight… if that's okay."

"Of course brother. Do you want to come with us Stel?"

Stella started crying again.

"Silas wouldn't have wanted us to fight."

She ran out of the room, Sullivan sighed deeply and followed her, as did Sawyer a couple of seconds later. And then there were me and Sophie Rose and Kirsten left.

Sophie Rose went first, kissed Silas' forehead, hugged her brother and sister in law. Before nodding at me and Kirsten and leaving the room.

"Thank you for coming dad." Seth came to me while Kirsten said her farewell to Silas. "I know you were working today."

"You don't have to thank me." I pulled him close. I wouldn't say that right then but I felt quite honored he had called me for support and not Ryan or anyone else. "I have my phone on all night. You only have to call." Seth nodded. "I'm so sorry." I hugged Summer and then held onto Kirsten's hand while stroking Silas' forehead and leaned down to just slightly touch it with my lips. "I'll see you some time." I gave one, helpless nod to Seth and looked angrily to the machines keeping Silas breathing, as if it was their fault he couldn't breathe on his own.

I didn't let go of my hard grip around Kirsten's fingers on all the way outside. Then, as soon as we were on the pavement outside I heard a voice behind me.

"Dad?"

I flinched and let go of Kirsten's hand, Sophie Rose stood behind us, leaned against the wall.

"Is it okay if I stay with you tonight?"

"Yes of course." I held out my arm to hold it around her shoulders. Tears started rolling down her cheeks and I held her tight and kissed away one. "You don't have to ask about that and you know that very well. Kirsten?" My wife had suddenly pulled her hand out of mine and laid a hand on her chest while she started breathing fitfully. "What's wrong?"

Such a stupid question! But this didn't seem right, and suddenly she clutched her arm to her side. Her knees buckled under her and I caught her before she hit the ground.

"She's barely even conscious. Kirsten… Kirsten, love. Can you hear me?"

I looked up on my daughter who had if possible turned even paler. She was a nurse, she would know what to do. She saw such things every day. But before a single word had come from my lips she shot up and ran towards the revolving doors.

"HELP. I THINK MY MUM'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK."

Was it true? Could losing someone important turn into this?

People came running and Kirsten was lifted onto a stretcher. I held tightly onto her hand again and didn't let go.

I just lost a grandchild.

I couldn't be about to lose my wife too?

**Kirsten won't die, just so you know. It's mentioned in tbp that she had a heart attack and cancer and she might be immortal. **

**It's possible to die from a broken heart. Did you know? **

**Noah looks like Domhnhall Gleeson. Silas looks like Ethan Dolan and Michael like Jayden Croes. **

**Random fact **

I have planned writing this, and then I started writing it and I just kept writing. It's two o'clock and I haven't even had lunch yet. And only a cookie for breakfast… maybe I should get up from the couch and not write all day…

And yes, I did cry while writing the scene where the surgeon comes out into the waiting room to tell them what's happened.


End file.
